Sunday, September 17, 2006

a time for seeding

"mostly dead is not dead enough"

April 16. 2006--Easter Sunday

Failure. Falling short. Always and again.
His cup is offered to me--my choice to enter in.
I'm wavering. I hesitate. Can this God be so good?
To call me to my own demise and then to name it 'life'?
Not only life, continues he, but life abundant, known.
I don't believe how this can be when sorrow paves the road.
I want glory, fame, my life I want beauty The ecstasy of touching heaven...And truth
But I don't want to touch your cup.
Please relieve me of the dirt the death the tragedy.
You ask me to go to places full of death that I might find life??
I must be smarter that you
Because I know this makes no sense.
I can make this work without you.
I think so--don't I?
I have the skills to win.
Winning may mean victory. Winning isn't love.
I'm grieving the loss of myself here, Jesus. I'm mourning the loss of my sin.
It may be a cage But this cage is the only home I've known.
Like a new baby out of the womb It's frightening I'm cold
I've lived this entire life a captive I can't trust goodness til I'm shown
Take your cup Take your cup
Take your cup Take your cup
take your cup
take Your cup
I do.
I will.
I'm Yours.
They may not believe it I may not believe it
You do You are My One

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